Helping Your Child Develop His Own Independence

According to BabyCenter.com’s article, Developmental Milestones, “At around 6 or 7 months, your baby begins to realize that he's separate from you and that you can leave him alone (for a short period of time).”  A baby realizes he has his own hands and feet and begins to try new things to get to know his body. The road from dependence to independence occurs in a series of stages, although all along, it is important that parents help their baby through each stage.

Prepare for the road from dependence to independence:

1. Decide now you want your child to become independent.

2. Resist your natural impulse to always help, but do encourage.

3. Allowing a child to struggle is one of the best ways to help develop his independence.

   Your “help” can interfere with his opportunity to become independent. (Although while he attempts dependence with various activities, your encouragement and praise is needed).

   Good to Remember:

• If you do it for him, he won't have to do it himself. (This ‘helicopter’ behavior causes many problems as the child grows older).

• If he doesn't struggle a little, he won't learn to do it for himself.

• If he doesn't learn to do it for himself, he won't develop independence.

There will be many times when your child will try to do something for himself. As he works, he learns and develops. If you step in too soon, you take away the effort, as well as his learning and developmental opportunity. Praising your child for trying is an excellent form of encouragement as he makes the effort and succeeds.

Kids ‘R’ Kids Learning Academies believes that happy, loved; connected children are destined for success in every facet of their lives. Our most cherished principle, “Hug First, Then Teach,” defines every aspect of who we are at Kids ‘R’ Kids. When it comes to teaching, Kids ‘R’ Kids understands the importance of involving families with their child’s developmental milestones and accomplishments. We hope you will drop by for a tour at one of our locations in the Houston area.  Find a school near you at www.krkhouston.com.

You might be intrigued at how early the development of your child’s independence starts. According to this babycenter.com’s article Developmental Milestones, “At around 6 or 7 months, your baby begins to realize that he's separate from you and that you can leave him alone.”  Baby realizes he has his own hands and feet, both with which he can move about on his own. This does not mean that he’ll want to be completely independent from you (as signs of separation anxiety will indicate). The road from dependence to independence occurs in a series of stages, all along which it is important that parents help baby through each stage.

Prepare for the road from dependence to independence:

    1.     Decide how you want your child to become independent.

    2.     Resist your natural impulse to always help.

    3.     Allowing a child to struggle is one of the best ways to help develop his independence.

If you do too much for your child, you will encourage dependence. Deciding now that you want your child to be independent will give you a head start in allowing your child to do things for himself. For instance, if baby is struggling to reach a ball – don’t get it for him! If he has a reasonable chance of getting it, let him try. He needs to work for that ball because as he does, he inches forward in his developmental independence. Your “help” can interfere with his opportunity to struggle with the world.

Good to Remember:

If you do it for him, he won't have to struggle.

If he doesn't struggle a little, he won't learn to do it for himself.

If he doesn't learn to do it for himself, he won't develop independence.

There will be many times when your child will try to do something for himself. It may be reaching for something just beyond his grasp or fixing his attention on some object and trying to either bring it to himself or getting himself to it. In any situation he will have a chance to interact and figure out obstacles on his own.

As he works, he learns and develops. If you step in too soon, you take away the effort, learning and development opportunity. Praising your child for trying is an excellent form of encouragement as it makes the struggle worth the effort.

One of the most important gifts you can offer your baby is the opportunity to become a person in his own right. It's never too soon to start helping him to develop independence.